You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
