Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
So I just went to clothing optional bar
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
