How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
honey bunches of taint.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
