I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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