Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
