Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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