God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
