i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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