dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
