he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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