So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
