Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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