some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
