Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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