Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
