i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize