I cannot find my penis.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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