If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
