It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
