I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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