so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
