He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize