so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
