Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
