.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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