you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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