How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Watching her eat just hurts me
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
