we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
