i'm signing you up for texting rehab
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize