how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
