i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
