if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize