If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize
