Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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