you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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