well I can't set my house on fire every night
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
