So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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