About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
she told me i tasted like america
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
