shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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