this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
