I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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