The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
