i already hear my dad disowning me
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
