yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
my sisters under your porch take her home
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
