She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
