Kiss
Puke
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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