belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
