i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
