I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
