i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
