Sry I called you an 8
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize