do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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