Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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