Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
