oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I'm bleeding and have questions
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
