Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
