Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I didn't notice because vodka
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
