i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
