Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Please don't give away my fajitas
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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