btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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