Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
