I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
