she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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