My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
