.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize