he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
