After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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