True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
