Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
