how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
