One girl and one boy is just not enough.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
