I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
