At least make sure they are 18
Why
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
