I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize