I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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