i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
