Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
