Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
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