i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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