I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
