Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
