I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
