strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I had to cum in my sink.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
