Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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